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Warriors for Dummies- Part 2

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-Warriors- for dummies</u>
A look at what the Warriors characters are REALLY like...

Part 2- New Prophecy

Brambleclaw: *high pitched voice* I am such a good, loyal cat! I am a good father, and I do my best to lead the Clan, and- *raspy, evil voice* You know you want to kill Firestar! You know it, YOU KNOW IT! Hawkfrost can do it, so can you! *high pitched voice* No! I will never do it! I love my daddy! *raspy, evil voice* Luke… I am your father! *high pitched voice* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Squirrelflight: Well. I see you’re busy. *long pause* Time to go rip Ashfur’s heart out!

Ashfur: *in Mr. Mop voice* Baby, come back! You can blame it all on meeeeeee- *door is slammed in his face*

Leafpool: I follow the warrior code. I’m boring. Hey look, Crowfeather!!! :D Let’s run away so I can get pregnant and give birth to kits and have Erin give out SO MANY freaking clues and have my stupid kits be all “Wha? THEN WHO’S OUR MOMMY?!” once she reveals it when it’s SO. OBVIOUS. THEY. ARE. STUPID. POOPYHEADS!!

Crowfeather: I need marriage counseling.

Feathertail: I may pretend to be all noble, but all I want is to go down to the Clans, borrow a machete from someone, and go all kung-fu on Nightcloud and Leafpool! >:3 HIYAAAAAAAA!

Nightcloud: *sobbing* I… I LUUUUURVE Crowfeather!!!!!!! But he only used me for kitting!! He HATES me!!! And all I did was tell this stupid lion cat which way the mountains were! I mean, I didn’t know he was going to kill Featherbutt! IT’S NOT MY FAUUUUUULT!!!!! *hiccupping*

Midnight: I speak like Yoda, I do. :3

Stoneteller: Hi. My Tribe was brought into the books cause Erin didn’t have anything better to do. She was bored. So she invented me. Hi. This is an automated message. To kill me, please press 4.

Brook: I spell my name wrong. It should have an E at the end. I love names with Es at the end!! :D When Stormy-poo and I have kits, I’m going to give them all names with Es at the end! Like “Foxdunge” and “Mousebraine.” IT ADDS ELEGANCE!! <3

Stormfur: I’m having an identity crisis!!! QUICK! Brook, let’s go live in the mountains! Then let’s get kicked out so we can go live with the Clans again, cause I LURVE them. Then! Let’s go back to HELP our BELOVED Tribemates who hate us and want to murder us! :D Then let’s fly to the moon. ^_^

Sharptooth: *thinking this* You know, I never noticed before, but I don’t actually SAY anything in the books. Maybe I have a really high-pitched voice so I hate talking. That would make sense. *nodnod*

Blackstar: I’m only in this thing cause I want to RULE IT!! I WANT TO TAKE IT OVER!!!!!!!! BECAUSE SHADOWCLAN SHOULD RULE EVERYTHING!!! IT IS OUR DIVINE RIGHT! AND WE ARE NEVER WRONG!!!!!! …That is all.

Mudclaw: MUWAHAHAHA!!!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MWUA- *coughing fit* I… *gasping* I’m ok! I am OKAY!!

Daisy: I need HALP! *swooning* I love you, Cloudtail. MARRY ME!!!

Cloudtail: Ha! I appeared in BOTH of theses!! X3 Oh, you know you are so jealous.

Mothwing: I’m a believer, I couldn’t leave her if I trieeed!! Wait… No, I’m not a believer. My stupid brother killed my dreams with a moth! *bursts out sobbing and runs away*

Hawkfrost: I really have nothing to say. Evil is quiet genius. Oh who am I kidding, I LOVE EVIL!! >:3 LET ME SCREAM IT TO THE WORLD!!! EVEEEL EVEEEL EVEEEL EVEEL EV- *is murdered by Brambleclaw*

Horsey: I love my new neigh-bors! :D HA, I made a PUN!! Yee- HAW!

Onestar: I’m emotionally unstable! I can’t lead a Clan! I’m just a baby! I CAN DO THIS!! I am powerful! I am brave! I am courageous! I’m scared! I want to go home, mommy! I HATE THUNDERCLAN FOR NO APPARENT REASON! Hatehatehatehatehate…

Tawnypelt: Love makes the world go round. <3

Skywatcher: What series do I go in?! I’m just… here. Watching the stars. Talking to my dead friends. Learning about- HEY LOOK A COOKIE!! :D

Firestar: I’m… dying… In… A… Foxtrap!!

Purdy: I was experimental once. I was 600 feet in the ground. They told me I couldn’t do it. And that wind… blew my hair… right off… (Watch iJustine! XD)

Bluestar: Peace be with you.

Clan cats: And also with you.

Not-yet-born Lionblaze: TIME TO END THIS MADNESS!!! *is hit by anvil*
Oh noes. Return of the pointless skits!!! :ohnoes:

Yes, as promised, here is the slightly-shorter-but-hopefully-more-funny Warriors for Dummies Part 2!! :D (No, I am not suggesting anything with that title. Honestly, I'm not. PUT AWAY YOUR LAWYERS!!!) It's meant as a thanks-for-putting-up-with-all-my-crap present. Enjoy?! O__o

Part One

Characters (c) Erin Hunter
© 2009 - 2024 xBramblestarx
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Frecklefeather's avatar
I'M........DYING...........IN.............A..........FOXTRAP! SOOOOO FUNNNNNYYYYYY!  (Presses 4) 4444444444444 IT WON'T WORK!