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Literature Text
*Jaypaw, Crowfeather, Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Leafpool, and Ashfur are milling around in the forest. Ashfur is wearing a tutu.*
Crowfeather: *singing* And you don't get to see the tears I cryyyy! Because you're busy trying to do it with a vampire! *starts crying again*
Leafpool: *annoyed* Oh, shut up. I never got to the front anyway.
Jaypaw: I didn't like that one called Emmett. He wanted by hawt stick. *cuddling the stick*
Squirrelflight: I miss Jasper. He was sexy. *sighs*
Brambleclaw: I knew it! There's someone else, isn't there? *bursts into tears and runs into the trees*
Leafpool: *staring after him* A little slow, ya think?
Ashfur: Lalalalalalalalalalala!!! *notices Squirrelflight* RAWR, mah hawt lady! *Trys to pounce on her. Fails.*
Jaypaw: Did Brambleclaw give Ashfur crack again?
Crowfeather: For hatin' you I blame myseeeelllfff!!!
Leafpool: If you hate me so much, why do you care if I sleep with Edward?
*Bella jumps out of the trees*
Bella: There she is! Vampire stealer! *lunges*
Edward: *leaps at Bella* No! Don't hurt her!
Bella: Why? It's because you love her, right? *sobbing* I knew I was never good enough!
Leafpool: No you weren't.
Edward: No! It's because she's a helpless itty-bitty puddy-tat.
Leafpool: Oh no you di'int! *snapping fingers in a z-formation*
*Jasper and Emmett emerge from the trees*
Jasper: Again, that's not possible. No fingers, remember?
Emmett: Yay! Family reunion!
Jaypaw: Oh, you better hope we're not family.
Leafpool: *to Edward* Ya'll better that back right now or you ain't never gonna get wit' yo home-skillet lovagirl again, ya hear me?
Edward: Fo'shizzle.
Bella: *glares*
Edward: I mean, sure.
Crowfeather: Here I am, once agaaaaiiinnnn...
Emmett: Ooh! Is that Kelly Clarkson? I love Kelly Clarkson!
Both: I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought...
Ashfur: What a pretty day! *hopping, skipping* Lalalalala! *smells a flower* Ooh, daisies!
Squirrelflight: Um...
Jasper: Is that a cat on crack?
Squirrelflight: *growling* I dunno, but if you want to get high with me, by all means...
Edward: I don't really want to read your mind after that.
*Brambleclaw bursts into the clearing with a deadly weapon of disaster*
Brambleclaw: Stay back! Back, I say! I'm warning you!
Jasper: Hey look, two cats on crack!
Emmett: Snap, crackle, pop!
Brambleclaw: Cool it, buster, or I'll shoot!
Edward: Is that a hot dog?
Bella: With mustard and relish?
Jaypaw: Did that come with fries? *all stare* I like fries...
Emmett: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!!! I WANT IT!!!!! *leaps at Brambleclaw*
Leafpool: Oh no you ain't! I mean, MINE! *lunges for the hot dog*
Crowfeather: Feed my aching heart!
*a black cat with one white paw emerges from the trees*
Jaypaw: Who are you?
Cat: Me? I'm a figmant of your imagination.
*All blink, except Emmett and Leafpool, who are fighting over hot dog*
Emmett: Gimmie!
Leafpool: MINE!
Jasper: Emmett, we don't even eat hot dogs.
Emmett: Oh yeah, right. *lets go*
Cat: Your imagination says that my name is Poppywhisker.
Bella: Okay...?
Jaypaw's stick: Forget Jaypaw. You're where it's at!
Edward: It can talk?
Poppywhisker: Um, I'd rather not, thanks.
Jaypaw's stick: RAWR! *rolls toward Poppywhisker*
Poppywhisker: *running away* Aaaahhh!!!
Jaypaw: *crying* Stick! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-
Crowfeather: *sniffs* Lost love!
Ashfur: Spread the love, man. *peace sign*
Jasper: No thumbs.
Brambleclaw: Any more hot dogs?
Leafpool: I don't know, but I do see something hot... *edges slowly toward Edward*
Squirrelflight: Ooh! Is it group sex again?
Edward: No! No more group sex!
Bella: Oh, yes! Sex time! *grabs at Edward*
Emmett: What's sex?
Jasper: That thing you and Rosalie-
Edward: Unclean images! Very bad images! *trying to stop reading minds*
Emmett: Oh, that.
Brambleclaw: Yay! Let's do it again!
Jaypaw: It's just not the same. *sobbing*
Ashfur: Let's get wrong, yo.
Edward: No!
*All pile on anyway*
Jasper: Why do all our skits end in group sex?
Leafpool: Because it's shizzletastic and up-the-wall, yo. Plus it's totally diggable.
Bella: I see what you're doing! Ya betta back off, girlfriend!
Leafpool: Ya better undo what ya just did, cause ota-wise this snaz-
Everyone: Shut up!
Jasper: Ow! That was a very personal place!!!
Squirrelflight: Ooh, jackpot...
Edward: *screaming* AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Make it stop!!!
*Poppywhisker runs by, being chased by the stick*
Poppywhisker: Alright, joke's over! Here's your stick!
Jaypaw's stick: I'm not leaving till I get a piece of you, baby!
Jaypaw: No! Stick! Come baaaaccckkk!!!
*A black cat lands on top of the pile*
Black cat: I like silver!
Poppywhisker: I want to keep my virginanity!!!
Crowfeather: I lost mine long ago.
Leafpool: You never had any to begin with!
*Ashfur wakes up, has a headache*
Ashfur: Uggghhh... Where am I?
Black cat: Silver!
Emmett: Who ever won that rock, paper, scissors game anyway?
Squirrelflight: I don't care. I like where I'm at.
Jasper: Feeling so unclean. Feeling so unclean. Feeling-
Poppywhisker: Take the stick! TAKE THE FREAKIN STICK!!!
Brambleclaw: I think we have issues.
Ashfur: Why am I wearing a tutu?
The End.
Hopefully.
Ashfur: Brambleclaw...
Crowfeather: *singing* And you don't get to see the tears I cryyyy! Because you're busy trying to do it with a vampire! *starts crying again*
Leafpool: *annoyed* Oh, shut up. I never got to the front anyway.
Jaypaw: I didn't like that one called Emmett. He wanted by hawt stick. *cuddling the stick*
Squirrelflight: I miss Jasper. He was sexy. *sighs*
Brambleclaw: I knew it! There's someone else, isn't there? *bursts into tears and runs into the trees*
Leafpool: *staring after him* A little slow, ya think?
Ashfur: Lalalalalalalalalalala!!! *notices Squirrelflight* RAWR, mah hawt lady! *Trys to pounce on her. Fails.*
Jaypaw: Did Brambleclaw give Ashfur crack again?
Crowfeather: For hatin' you I blame myseeeelllfff!!!
Leafpool: If you hate me so much, why do you care if I sleep with Edward?
*Bella jumps out of the trees*
Bella: There she is! Vampire stealer! *lunges*
Edward: *leaps at Bella* No! Don't hurt her!
Bella: Why? It's because you love her, right? *sobbing* I knew I was never good enough!
Leafpool: No you weren't.
Edward: No! It's because she's a helpless itty-bitty puddy-tat.
Leafpool: Oh no you di'int! *snapping fingers in a z-formation*
*Jasper and Emmett emerge from the trees*
Jasper: Again, that's not possible. No fingers, remember?
Emmett: Yay! Family reunion!
Jaypaw: Oh, you better hope we're not family.
Leafpool: *to Edward* Ya'll better that back right now or you ain't never gonna get wit' yo home-skillet lovagirl again, ya hear me?
Edward: Fo'shizzle.
Bella: *glares*
Edward: I mean, sure.
Crowfeather: Here I am, once agaaaaiiinnnn...
Emmett: Ooh! Is that Kelly Clarkson? I love Kelly Clarkson!
Both: I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought...
Ashfur: What a pretty day! *hopping, skipping* Lalalalala! *smells a flower* Ooh, daisies!
Squirrelflight: Um...
Jasper: Is that a cat on crack?
Squirrelflight: *growling* I dunno, but if you want to get high with me, by all means...
Edward: I don't really want to read your mind after that.
*Brambleclaw bursts into the clearing with a deadly weapon of disaster*
Brambleclaw: Stay back! Back, I say! I'm warning you!
Jasper: Hey look, two cats on crack!
Emmett: Snap, crackle, pop!
Brambleclaw: Cool it, buster, or I'll shoot!
Edward: Is that a hot dog?
Bella: With mustard and relish?
Jaypaw: Did that come with fries? *all stare* I like fries...
Emmett: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!!! I WANT IT!!!!! *leaps at Brambleclaw*
Leafpool: Oh no you ain't! I mean, MINE! *lunges for the hot dog*
Crowfeather: Feed my aching heart!
*a black cat with one white paw emerges from the trees*
Jaypaw: Who are you?
Cat: Me? I'm a figmant of your imagination.
*All blink, except Emmett and Leafpool, who are fighting over hot dog*
Emmett: Gimmie!
Leafpool: MINE!
Jasper: Emmett, we don't even eat hot dogs.
Emmett: Oh yeah, right. *lets go*
Cat: Your imagination says that my name is Poppywhisker.
Bella: Okay...?
Jaypaw's stick: Forget Jaypaw. You're where it's at!
Edward: It can talk?
Poppywhisker: Um, I'd rather not, thanks.
Jaypaw's stick: RAWR! *rolls toward Poppywhisker*
Poppywhisker: *running away* Aaaahhh!!!
Jaypaw: *crying* Stick! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-
Crowfeather: *sniffs* Lost love!
Ashfur: Spread the love, man. *peace sign*
Jasper: No thumbs.
Brambleclaw: Any more hot dogs?
Leafpool: I don't know, but I do see something hot... *edges slowly toward Edward*
Squirrelflight: Ooh! Is it group sex again?
Edward: No! No more group sex!
Bella: Oh, yes! Sex time! *grabs at Edward*
Emmett: What's sex?
Jasper: That thing you and Rosalie-
Edward: Unclean images! Very bad images! *trying to stop reading minds*
Emmett: Oh, that.
Brambleclaw: Yay! Let's do it again!
Jaypaw: It's just not the same. *sobbing*
Ashfur: Let's get wrong, yo.
Edward: No!
*All pile on anyway*
Jasper: Why do all our skits end in group sex?
Leafpool: Because it's shizzletastic and up-the-wall, yo. Plus it's totally diggable.
Bella: I see what you're doing! Ya betta back off, girlfriend!
Leafpool: Ya better undo what ya just did, cause ota-wise this snaz-
Everyone: Shut up!
Jasper: Ow! That was a very personal place!!!
Squirrelflight: Ooh, jackpot...
Edward: *screaming* AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! Make it stop!!!
*Poppywhisker runs by, being chased by the stick*
Poppywhisker: Alright, joke's over! Here's your stick!
Jaypaw's stick: I'm not leaving till I get a piece of you, baby!
Jaypaw: No! Stick! Come baaaaccckkk!!!
*A black cat lands on top of the pile*
Black cat: I like silver!
Poppywhisker: I want to keep my virginanity!!!
Crowfeather: I lost mine long ago.
Leafpool: You never had any to begin with!
*Ashfur wakes up, has a headache*
Ashfur: Uggghhh... Where am I?
Black cat: Silver!
Emmett: Who ever won that rock, paper, scissors game anyway?
Squirrelflight: I don't care. I like where I'm at.
Jasper: Feeling so unclean. Feeling so unclean. Feeling-
Poppywhisker: Take the stick! TAKE THE FREAKIN STICK!!!
Brambleclaw: I think we have issues.
Ashfur: Why am I wearing a tutu?
The End.
Hopefully.
Ashfur: Brambleclaw...
Suggested Collections
I never intended to post my sequel to Twiarriors, but I have been talked into it:
Yeah, about Poppywhisker and the black cat... My friends read the first and wanted to be in the second. Lol!
Tell the truth... The first one's better, isn't it?
Twiarriors- New Year: [link]
Twilight (c) Stephanie Meyer
Warriors (c) Erin Hunter
Yeah, about Poppywhisker and the black cat... My friends read the first and wanted to be in the second. Lol!
Tell the truth... The first one's better, isn't it?
Twiarriors- New Year: [link]
Twilight (c) Stephanie Meyer
Warriors (c) Erin Hunter
© 2008 - 2024 xBramblestarx
Comments49
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Duuuuuddddddeee, wtf?! i nvr knew sticks could talk!!!!!! XD