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-Warriors- for dummies</u>
A look at what the Warriors characters are REALLY like...

Part 1- Original Series

Firestar: I am Firestar. I am brave and noble. I love Spottedleaf but now I love Sandstorm and I had kits with her but I feel like I'm cheating on my beautiful dead medicine cat so now I make out with her in my dreams. And I miss Bluestar, my old mentor, because she was wise and I was attached to her and stuff. I went on a journey to save SkyClan and Sandstorm got mad when I said that Echosong was hot. I am overprotective and I feel the need to prove myself to my Clanmates. I also have a knack for stating the obvious.

Sandstorm: I love Firestar, but I know he's cheating on me with a dead medicine cat who's seasons older than him and flirts with every tom she meets and it's all I worry about, besides my kits and their destinies. I want them to grow up happy and I want to be a loyal warrior but I want Firestar to love me and I want to be a good grandma and I also want to be a mentor again or I'll throw a tantrum and ignore Firestar for moons.

Cinderpelt: I never wanted to be a medicine cat, but that stupid car ran over my leg and now I'm a cripple and I have to spend all my time helping Yellowfang cure sick cats. To the Dark Forest with them! Just die and get over it! I'll never be a mother and I'll never be a warrior and I'll never be a mentor and I'll never be wise and I think I'll go cry in a dark corner and feel self-pity now.

Yellowfang: Oh no I killed my own kit! StarClan is punishing me, I am going to die and they won't accept me! What can I do? I know; I'll go jump in a fire to save a burning cat. Yeah, that will work! And then they'll accept me for sure! Yay, let's go start a fire!!!

Spottedleaf: I love my precious Firestar and I have to help him, no matter what the cost! I'll appear in his dreams and tell him what to do, all the while acting alluring so that he'll dump that stupid Sandstorm and pick ME!!! Then we can be together in StarClan and I'll have Starkits and we'll be together always and I'll give up being a medicine cat. Why was I a medicine cat anyway? It's the lamest job in the world!

Whitestorm: I am very wise. I am so wise that I should stand by Bluestar in her time of need. I am so wise that I should act like I know everything and boss Firestar around subtly. I am so wise that I shall have kits with Willowcloud in a sexier manner than ever done before. I am so wise that- *is killed by Bone*

Redtail: I'm dead. Tigerstar killed me.

Darkstripe: I am EVIL!!! I am Tigerstar's right-paw cat! I am willing to do anything to get what I want! I am ruthless! *bows down to Tigerstar* I shall do as you wish, master, and when you die I shall kill every cat in my line of sight. Because I am EVIL!!!

Longtail: I hate Firestar because he's a stupid kittypet and he shouldn't be our leader, so I'll go join Tigerstar. Oh no, Tigerstar is being evil! I shall have to earn Firestar's trust again! And now I am blind! I will never see again! Help me, Mousefur, I am helpless!

Dustelt: I love Ferncloud and I am going to have sex with her the day she becomes a warrior so my legacy will live on. Maybe while she’s still an apprentice, even! In fact, I think I will make her have a new litter every time an old litter grows up! Oh, I am devious... *evil smile*

Ravenpaw: Ohmygosh, Tigerstar scares me! Hide me, Barley! I am going to grow up emotionally scarred unless you do something!

Graystripe: I love Silverstream and we are going to have kits NO MATTER WHAT THE COST because she's so hot that I just have to have kits with her and then I am going to go over to RiverClan and be a good father and then I am going to come back because my real home will always be ThunderClan and then I am going to be noble and get captured by Twolegs and then I am going to mate with my new friend Millie and then I will have lived my life to the fullest. And then I will die. :3

Brokenstar: I am evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. And I will make ShadowClan the strongest of all the Clans! Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil. Evil!

Barley: Am I the only one who thinks Ravenpaw is hot?

Scourge: I was emotionally scarred by that big bully Tigerstar when I was a kit and now I am BIG and MEAN and TOUGH and nobody will ever stand in my way!!! I will kill Tigerstar and all those creepy forest cats who denied me my right to power! I will become GREATER and MORE POWERFUL than any cat ever before me! Okay, Bone, go carry out my evil plan.

Bone: I like clawing things. Killing is fun. Scourge is fun to be around!!

Princess: I love Firestar! I love Firestar SO MUCH that I am going to give him my baby! And then I am going to be happy and go have MORE BABIES so I can give them all to Firestar! And then they can grow up in the forest and be happy and- Oh no! Firestar’s fur is WRINKLED!!! That means that the forest is too tough for him to live in! Oh dear, my poor babies!

Cloudtail: StarClan is for wusses. When I die, I’m going to be the moon! And Brightheart is going to be my sexy star companion and we’ll be together forever. Pssh, StarClan isn’t good enough for me.

Brightheart: PACK, PACK! KILL, KILL!

Swiftpaw: I’m going to go beat up some dogs! Come with me, all you stupid apprentices, so you can be scarred for life! And then I’ll get to die, and be a starry cat! Starry, starry, starry cat! Brightheart, go fight that dog over there and get half your face ripped off, will you?

Bluestar: I miss my kits! How could I have given them up to live in RiverClan just so that I could be leader? I am so terrible! I hope they forgive me! I'll go beg forgiveness after StarClan destroys my Clan because they're all traitors and spies and Tigerstar is going to murder them all. Then maybe I'll go live in RiverClan and catch fish and have more kits with Oakheart! Or is he dead? Oh well, the voices will find me a new mate. And then I'll be able to live on and island and have sleek, glossy fur and all the toms will want to mate with me and I will be a respected leader...

Oakheart: I wanna own Sunningrocks! All you ThunderClan cats, surrender now! Sunningrocks is RiverClan’s true territory! We will rip you limb from li- *is hit by boulders*

Stonefur: I can’t believe Momma never told us she wasn’t our Momma!!! Does that mean Mistyfoot isn’t my sister? Does that mean Stormpaw isn’t my apprentice??? Oh GAWD, all I know is a LIE!!!!!

Tigerstar: Fear me. I am evil. Rawr. >3
One of the things I've been working on in my spare time. :D What do you think?

It's Part One, The Original Series, of the Warriors for Dummies series. I think I got all the major characters, and some I've saved for future parts. Hope you like!

Part Two

Warriors (c) Erin Hunter
Add a Comment:
 
:iconalbinowolf58:
albinoWolf58 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2015
XD I'm dying
Reply
:iconwarriorsostarclan:
WarriorsoStarclan Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2014  Student
LOL i love the tigerstar 1 its so true
Reply
:iconpracticallyuseless:
PracticallyUseless Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I LOVE this! Hahahahahaha! I loved Whitestorm's wise-ness!
Reply
:iconpenguinpony:
penguinpony Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.............
Reply
:iconechoroll:
EchoRoll Featured By Owner Sep 24, 2011
I like Bones!!!!!! It's sound like me when I drift off! =D except I more random....... I like Pineapples.......
Reply
:iconfallliingmoon:
Fallliingmoon Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Better than the actual series. :lmao: Well Maybe except the last one since a bunch of cats die and a bunch of cats become strong and all that crap. lol Cloudtail's is my favorite is would probably say that.
Reply
:iconbreyerkat:
BreyerKat Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LOL this is funny!! xD
Reply
:iconsasukefairy:
sasukefairy Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
ah calm down haters and jst go read ur not whiney things if u love it so much.
i love this, it just makes me cry from laughter XD
love how it all has just a teeny bit of truth put i na funny mean saracastic way XD
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010
You really need to use commas 0.o And no offense, but this writing is really bad. There is a way to make fun of things that you like and its funny without being mean, and then there's just plain making fun of it. You're making all the cats seem like whining mouse brains.
Reply
:iconnightfang464:
Nightfang464 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2011
ikr?



lol love the siggy!
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2011
Thanks!
Reply
:iconnightfang464:
Nightfang464 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
err.. your welcome?
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
Why are you so confused?
Reply
:iconnightfang464:
Nightfang464 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
im not feeling well ATM and i cant remember wat i said Dx
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
Lol you can just press "Original." Or go back to the deviation's page. Hope you feel better. ;)
Reply
:iconnightfang464:
Nightfang464 Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2011
ok

although, thi sis a little funny
Reply
:icongabalot:
Gabalot Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
I think that was the point .3. make them all sound whiney.
LIKE THIS LLAMA:
:llama:
"My life sucks bleeeeeeeeegh"
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2010
It can be funny without sounding whiney... in fact, I think that makes it less funny.
Reply
:iconwolfdemon98:
WolfDemon98 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2011
Why hello, this is you, correct?
Why do you happen to comment on every Spoof people find funny and say they are whiney?
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2011
Because they are? And not every spoof, smart one. I happen to LOVE hyperadam's spoofs. They are the best. Get this. They manage to be funny... without being whiny! O: *gasp!* I know that's a hard concept for you to grasp, but it is possible.
Reply
:iconwolfdemon98:
WolfDemon98 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2011
It was made to be stupid and funny. and If you dont like it, you can do something called leave! i know i know...oh wait you dont know what that is?
Go back to preschool.
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
The first part is correct. Not so much on the second part, though.

Haha I should go back to preschool? Funny. At least I can use correct capitalization and punctuation.

I also think it's funny that you're taking this so seriously. I mean, do you not get that I'm mocking you and pretty much making fun of you? :pointandlaugh:
Reply
:iconwolfdemon98:
WolfDemon98 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2011
To me it seems like this arguement is getting pointless.
What im saying, is if you dont like the fanfic,
Why do you comment on it saying you dont like it? Wouldn't it make more sense to just go read something you like?
But i do think there should be a mature content filter on this.
Reply
(2 Replies)
:iconroyalblackheart:
RoyalBlackheart Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2010   Writer
Okay, I think Warriors is a good series, but I laughed so hard that I cried! :XD: Bwahahaha I really love Redtail's blunt answer! And Barely's "Am I the only one who thinks Ravenpaw is hot?". Crazy how many people tend to think the two of them should hook up XD This was made of so much win!
Reply
:iconpteriforever:
Pteriforever Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2010
Why do I seem to be the only warriors fan who finds this offensive? 9/20 for effort.
Reply
:iconglomdi:
glomdi Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2010
I don't like it, either. 0.o xBramblestarx makes it seem like all the cars are idiots.
Reply
:iconlufftodraw83:
lufftodraw83 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2010
You're not, don't worry.

I think it's funny sometimes, but at other times fairly offensive.
Reply
:iconirule44:
irule44 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2010
FTW man. FTW.
Reply
:iconpika-quil:
Pika-quil Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2009
Hellz no, Barley, F3
Reply
:iconminikat:
MiniKat Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2009
That's the funniest thing I've EVER READ!! -dies laughing-
Reply
:iconyaoifansoftheworld:
yaoifansoftheworld Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2009
"StarClan is for wusses. When I die, I’m going to be the moon!"
You have no idea how much I am laughing right now :|
Reply
:iconxcali-catx:
XCali-CatX Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2009  Student Digital Artist
wow so deviously true.... i ganna stalk u
Reply
:iconppp-pokerface:
Ppp-pokerface Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2009
haha this sums it up!
Reply
:iconxmirax:
xMirax Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2009
LOL@Duspelt.No wonder ferncloud is always pregnant. LOL. i wonder how she can bear the pain for a LOT of timeso_o.
Reply
:iconsky-lily:
Sky-Lily Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
"And all the toms will want to mate with me and I will be a respected leader..."

ROFL HOW DOES THAT WORK OUT XDD
Reply
:iconhorseytamer1:
horseytamer1 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2009
OH WOW.
This is so funny!
I really love the Whitestorm one lololololol...
Reply
:iconwendigogirl:
WendigoGirl Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2009
:lol:
Reply
:iconkiwipeaches:
kiwipeaches Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2009
One word: LOL. Another word: :XD: Another word-that-is-really-an-emoticon: :D
Reply
:icondoglover3212:
doglover3212 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2009
lol Omg This is so awesome!!
Reply
:iconsky-lily:
Sky-Lily Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Did you ever make a Part Two?

I laughed the most at Redtail and Bluestar this time xDD I go back and read this a lot.
Reply
:iconxbramblestarx:
xBramblestarx Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2008
XD Aw, thanks! :hug: Nice to know it's still being read.

Lol, no, sadly, I'm in the middle of a part 2. :( Should be done soon, though.
Reply
:iconsky-lily:
Sky-Lily Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Yay!
Reply
:iconxbramblestarx:
xBramblestarx Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2008
:aww:
Reply
:iconsunheart04:
sunheart04 Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2008
barley: am i the only one that thinks ravenpaw is hot < LMAO!!!!

goood job really funny!
Reply
:iconxbramblestarx:
xBramblestarx Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2008
XD Aw thanks!
Reply
:iconbrambleberry:
brambleberry Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
i especially love Stonefur and Yellowfang. and i really like Bone & Longtail
AH help me mousefur, i am helpless lol
Reply
:iconxbramblestarx:
xBramblestarx Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
:D Aw, thanks! XD
Reply
:iconbrambleberry:
brambleberry Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
lol :typerhappy: it's really good...MAKE MORE!!!
Reply
:iconxbramblestarx:
xBramblestarx Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2008
XD I will! Glad you like! :hug:
Reply
:iconbrambleberry:
brambleberry Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2008
ya but that doesn't mean i'm a dummy!
Reply
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